The MOTHER of Re-Invention

I’ve been in a crisis…a series, actually.  It’s not that I’m offering excuses, but in effect I am.

For months, my life has been a whirlwind of clients, traveling, networking, workshops and speaking engagements.  It’s been non-stop.  Don’t get me wrong, the ride has been great.  However, due to recent events, the ride has become the equivalent of a merry-go-round run by a  crazy “carnie” who won’t let you off. (If you’ve been to a fair in Chalmette, LA then you’ll understand where I’m coming from!)

That’s the point where I’m at…I’m dizzy, nauseated and OVER the ride.  THIS particular ride, that is.

Somehow over this past year and a half, I’ve become someone I don’t recognize.  It’s forced.  Un-natural. EXHAUSTING!  In all this effort to find a niche, a market…I forgot about what brought me here in the first place.  The “WHY” I became a work-at-home/stay-at-home mom.  The stress of it all has effected my health physically, emotionally and spiritually.

A few months back my body decided to get off the ride.  My fibromyalgia and lupus flared to the point that one morning I woke up and had lost function in my left arm.  (I’m left-handed people!!!)  Seriously?  I couldn’t FAKE being fine with one arm.  And slowly the realization came that my body was manifesting what my mind had known all along.  I couldn’t keep up the pace with a life that I did not want.  Our bodies are intuitive like that.

So, I’ve been on hiatus.  I’ve had to tell the over-achiever in me to “Shut UP!”.  I’ve been forced to say no to many things.  It’s been hard and easy at the same time.  And you know what?  I’ve never been more content with any other decision.  Because. I. Matter!

This past week, my Dad has been critically ill while hospitalized at the VA. (Another issue to tackle at a later date.)  It’s made this whole re-invention crisis seem rather small in the face of what matters most.  Family.

So, here I go again.  Deciding what to be now that I’m all grown up.  THIS time, I’m putting first things first and doing it all on MY terms.  Reminding myself as often as necessary WHY and WHO I’m doing this for.  Regardless of where the road takes me, I hope you’ll come along for the ride.  (And I promise, you can get off any time that you like.)  It’s bound to be hard, scary and crazy–but that’s me…the MOTHER of re-invention.

***Here’s my WHY***